| Archive for FTS |
| Mad Welshie |
Wings of a MorningBBC Scotland Radio programmeLink is HERE Enjoy 
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| Sidsnotwasere |
I know it's a thrill to many of those climbers,but see if they get caught in a snow storm,they should be made to pay the full cost of the mountain rescue team's help. | ||
| Lord Blackadder |
This is a transcript of a Radio show ...
Announcer (Highland accent) Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Good evening to all of you people out there … and welcome to Radio Highlands, broadcasting to you in glorious, crackly medium wave on nineteen hundred and four cycles per second precisely. The time is just approaching … er … night-time … so here again is your favourite soap opera on this channel … indeed, your only soap opera on this channel. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls … it’s time for another heart-warming and informative slice of … “Och Aye, It’s The MacEwes!” Sfx of Jimmy Shand Dance Band vinyl record, speeds up, then the sound of the needle being scratched across it. Narrator & Musician proceed to perform “Och Aye, It’s The MacEwes” as if cast on-stage were listening to a radio show recording. Mrs MacEwe Och, Angus … pull up your kilt and act like a man. Sfx of sheep meh, followed by doorbell. Mrs MacEwe Angus, will you away and see who’s at the door … for I’m expecting the meenister at any moment. Angus (gruffly) Aye, I will that, wife. Sfx of a squeaky door opening. Outside we hear the wind (howling gale?) in the hills Meenister Oh, it’s yourself then, Angus. A guid mornin’ t’ ye! Angus Mornin’ Meenister. Away you in an’ the wife will be seein’ to you then. I have work in the shed. Mrs MacEwe Hello Meenister … how are you today then? Pull up a sheep and sit yersel’ doon. Sfx of a tired sheep. Mrs MacEwe Och no … not that one meenister … she’s verra tired. (pause) Could I be offering you a drap o’ tea … or maybe a wee sgian dhu perhaps? Minister Oh no, no thank you, Mrs MacEwe. I was just having some earlier. And how are you yourself? Mrs MacEwe Och, I’m fine really. Maybe a wee bitty lonely since the older children left. Now there’s just me, Angus and the twins. Minister Aye, aye … and how are Duncan and Duncan? Mrs MacEwe Well, Duncan is having a wee spot o’ bother at school with Hamish MacOilworker’s son, Aristophenes. Minister And Duncan? Mrs MacEwe Ahh … now … Duncan has a couple of problems really … Minister Really? Mrs MacEwe Och yes … firstly, he’s worried that his latest writing, “God and His Relationship to Modern Urban Society” … is going away from its original intention and becoming a simple dismissive tract. Minister Och, that’s an awful shame, so it is. And what is the other problem? Mrs MacEwe His mountain bike has a flat tyre. Sfx of door slamming and running feet ... Angus (obviously distressed) Oh, mither … mither!!! Mrs MacEwe Oh, what is it Angus? Angus It's Duncan, mither … he … he’s …. Mrs MacEwe (shocked) He .. he’s no’ … ? Angus Aye mither ……… he’s pregnant! Sfx of Scots music as before. Announcer Well now, ladies and gentlemen … that was some cliffhanger of an ending tonight, was it not? I don’t know about you, but I particularly enjoyed the way they squeezed in that wee bit of advice to all the Southern Upland hill-farmers out there regarding ewe-tupping. Absolutely invaluable if you ask me … and now … |
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| WACOlives |
Ah'll kak sure ah catch that next wik ! | ||