Wee John
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WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT? WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.
They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to visit them.
They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run.
It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like coloury
leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
They don't say, 'Hurry up.'
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwares.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart
They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How
come dogs chase cats?'
When they read to us, they don't skip.
They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television
because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say
prayers with us and kiss us even when we're bad.
A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER.
THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH!
HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
When they bend over you hear gas leaks and then they blame the dog.  
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BoB
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You kept the best till last 
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Wee John
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| BoB wrote: | | You kept the best till last |
Eh, eh saved it for you.  
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BoB
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I don't need to bend over to leak gas though Wee John 
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Wee John
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| BoB wrote: | | I don't need to bend over to leak gas though Wee John |
 NO!! But yir ayi blamin the doag!! 
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BoB
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Yeh canna say that aboot tha missus!!!! 
I'll have to box your ears for you 
I ain't got a  I can blame so I blame next doors 
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Wee John
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| BoB wrote: | Yeh canna say that aboot tha missus!!!!
I'll have to box your ears for you
I ain't got a I can blame so I blame next doors |
Awe jings eh canna believe it, yir blamin the doors next tih yi?
Yih must be desperate.
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